Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Big Bang Theory on Christmas tradition

Penny: I just love _decorating_ the Christmas tree. It makes me feel like a little girl again.

Leonard: We didn’t have a tree when I was _growing up_.

Penny: Really? Why not?

Leonard: Mmm, in my family, holidays weren’t so much _celebrated_ as studied for their anthropological and psychological implications on _human_ society.

Penny: Oh, sounds festive. Did you at least give _presents_?

Leonard: Mmm, in a way. We presented papers, and then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each other.

Penny: Sheldon, what about you? Did you _have_a Christmas tree?

Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable _Santa Claus_ with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking _light_ on the house they induced neighbourhood-wide seizures.

Penny: So I take it you don’t want to _help_ us trim the tree.

Sheldon: I do not. But if you insist on _decorating_a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request that you add this.

Penny: What is it?

Sheldon: You’re kidding, right? It’s a bust of Sir _Isaac Newton_.

Penny: Oh, sure, sure, yeah. Very Christmassy.

Sheldon: Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree.

Leonard: Here we go.

Sheldon: December 25, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is _born_ Jesus, on the other hand, was actually born in the _summer_. His birthday was moved to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday that celebrated the _winter_ solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. Which, frankly, sounds like more _fun_ than 12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake.

Leonard: Merry Newton-mas, everyone.

Sheldon: I sense that’s not sincere, although I have no idea why.

Penny: No, it’s fine. Look, Sir Isaac can go right next to this little candy cane.

Sheldon: No. Isaac goes at the _top_of the tree.

Leonard: No, he _doesn't_.

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